President's Day medley

There are certain weeks that define your life, or should I say cause your life to change direction. I am a strong believer on how things happen for the reason and how they are timed perfectly. My mood has changed several ways throughout this week. Valentine's Day - Down;Thursday - Down more; Friday - Up;Saturday - Down then Up;Sunday and Monday - Full of thoughts both up and down. I am by no means depressed. It's more been things that were or were not in my control that have caused mood changes, uncontrollable mood changes. Certain things happened on Valentine's Day that I would not like to go into detail about helped me realize that I needed to change my path slightly. It was time to move on.

I (gasp) created an online profile of myself on a website...something I have been hesitating to do over the weekend. I would like to thank this blog for improving my writing skills. I think I was able to display what I was looking for in my mate. It is a step in the right direction. Nothing has happened from it, but even if nothing does it puts me back in the game. I'm not even necessarily looking for a relationship right now since I don't even know where I am going to be a few months from now.

Today was probably a culmination of all the moods I have been feeling through the last week, maybe even the last few months. Before I go through important things that happened today, I would like to thank my friends and family for your positive words that has made me very lucky to have people like that in my life.

I had some friends over for brunch. I was able to practice my cooking skills, create a playlist from Itunes, and have some good conversation. Since they live in Brooklyn and I live on the Upper East Side in Manhattan, we don't go over each other's apartments that often. Rather, we meet up somewhere and go out to eat or have a drink. It was good to have them over. We decided to go see Match Point at a theater on the Upper East Side. On the way there, they had mentioned that a place was opening up in their apartment. I was filled with excitement. I do really like their place, this is an area I was looking to move to, and it reduces the level of stress of finding a place that I would enjoy living in at a reasonable price. I'm not getting my hopes up just yet since I haven't seen the place yet and it is still a few months away until I have to move. I guess I can be happy for a few moments...

Until I watched Match Point. First of all before I discuss why my mood changed, I thought it was a great movie, not as good as Crash, but nonetheless wonderfully written and some interesting turns and twists, especially how the movie ended. The movie is about a former pro tennis player who becomes a tennis pro at an exclusive London club and befriends someone who ends up introducing him to his future wife and mistress. His life is now filled with money, power and many opportunities. I will not give away anything more than he falls for the mistress (played by Scarlett Johannsen) and she wants him to leave his wife. However, he cannot decide because he has become "comfortable" with the life he is now living. I have not felt that depressed at a movie since Matt Damon left Minny Drive in Good Will Hunting.

It made me think about how many people settle in situations because they are comfortable with how their life is, even though they are not entirely happy. I have been there before myself. It is a tough situation to remove yourself because you do not know what is on the other side or one is afraid of making the wrong decision.

One of my favorite quotes is "It is better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do." I try to live by it. If you believe the same thing, make sure you follow that mantra!

To validate what I was feeling, I ended up watching Spanglish, a movie with Tea Leoni and Adam Sandler, which seemed to have the same feel to it. They were married, but they were not happy together. He played the nice guy and she stepped all over him and ended up cheating on him. It made me think more about these thoughts and that is why decided to write this my journal. I know people are going to look at this post and they might be totally confused. I am all over the place in this. I swear I am completely sober. I thought this post would be better if it remained unchanged from the feelings that were coming out of my head (I apologize for any bad grammar). In fact, I cannot believe that I am posting this, but I feel that is partly why I have created the blog. I'm keeping it real...

Man, I feel better after writing that.